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  • Writer's pictureFarheen Syed

Marriage and Women Empowerment

Marriage is not necessarily related to boredom or the temptation to venture attractive affairs. There is a misconception that after some time, the attraction, love and excitement that was once there, dwindles into a repetitive routine and  a longing for something different. Marriage is about commitment, unconditional loyalty and trust, and there lies the misunderstanding of what marriage is. 

Ordinarily, an empowered woman is depicted as a single woman whose freedom is not being challenged and her responsibilities under her own control. Contrastingly, to me marriage is a powerful notion which can empower women exponentially provided that things fall into the right place. The women who avoid or even refuse to get married are bogged down by the insecurities, negativity and misinterpretations surrounding marriage. They fail to see the positive aspects of marriage; how its success can translate into accomplishments in all dimensions of their lives.

After all, it is human nature to seek help and motivation from others. Perhaps it is even a dis empowerment to choose to be completely independent of a partnership, to persist that their freedom be unaffected. There are many strong married women who have maintained their in dependency and strong-willed, fiery personality.

Whilst being single and empowered is something to celebrate, women should feel able to be empowered in a marriage without feeling that society has labelled them as dependent and unimportant. Marriage should not come with baggage loaded with the belief that these women are irrelevant and require the support or a man. These beliefs stem from cultural and societal values, and whilst they are difficult to remove, it is up to today’s women to remove this belief. 

Marriage comes with additional responsibilities, but it should not encourage women to cave into a life of dependency. A truly empowered woman will have the courage to encounter such responsibilities, whilst being the warrior she sees in the mirror. An empowered person not only has an inner fire which fuels the motivation, passion and resilience to do better and be better, but also ignites the strength in those around them. 

Another debate, is choosing the right person. There are so many channels of pressure from friends, family and the community to marry the person that they think is the most eligible. However, women should be able to utilize their free-will to choose their ideal partner without external pressures. If a woman finds that she is not empowered or strengthened by a relationship, she should not be forced into a promise which connects them “in sickness and in health, till death do us apart.” If an individual so happens to be a source of support, motivation and fearless living then it will add to a woman’s empowerment. In my opinion, an empowered woman has clarity of what she seeks for in a partner and when she would like to tie the knot. Such certainty prevents a marriage from becoming an adverse disaster.

However, happiness comes from within and finding the lifelong partner is a bonus. Marriage entails compromise and those who are not prepared to do so, may need to redefine what compromise means. If a woman is looking to find a partner who is flawless and has no weaknesses, that then becomes a reflection of themselves and not their partner. This is why a sense of self and clarity is essential in choosing the best life partner for you. 

It is human nature to require a partner, to live through their losses and victories, to share moments of grief and happiness. This is not dependency, but it is a need. Falling in love is not only about needing someone to rely on, it is human nature to want to love and be loved. I believe that having support is integral in being empowered, so I allow myself to be dependent in order to maximize my empowerment. 

Marriage a partnership official; setting out the terms and conditions of the contract that binds you to your partner. Without marriage, the obligations stated by law cannot protect your rights in a relationship. The underlining purpose of marriage is to provide protection, stability and a consistent long-term relationship. Marriage is a package filled with security, support and unwavering commitment from both a friend and a lover. It is then more sensical to engage in marriage as soon as you find the right person,  rather that keeping your partner at a stage riddled with uncertainty. Women commonly use a “need-based” argument, persistent that they do not need men for survival and seek to make this statement by avoiding marriage. In marriages where an individual is completely emotionally and financially dependent on their partners, those involved often see their partnership develop into something toxic. One must be self-sufficient. However, if a person is not completely self-sufficient whilst having a proper partnership, two people can mentor each other and pave way for a brighter future.

Such marriages can be challenging and completely depend on the partners how much they are willing to nurture their relationship in terms of overcoming each other’s weaknesses. Certain responsibilities can translate into dependencies, but it is important that we distinguish them. Responsibilities which come with a marriage depends on personal beliefs and value systems rooted in religion, culture and law. It is not exclusively about the responsibilities you must undertake in a marriage; it is about self-love too. If marriage was all about complying with terms and conditions set out in marital contracts it is bound to fall apart; a relationship without meaning cannot be everlasting. One must be happy prior to a marriage, and allow the marriage to add value, rather than subtract. It is crucial to remember that no individual is perfectly accustomed to your wants and needs, and thus, patience and acceptance are required. Marriage is a companionship, and if each counterpart understands the ins and outs of the other person, it can be something extraordinarily empowering. We can heal faster with the love of others. Mending is a long process but when someone knows how to carry that burden with you, the pain subsides faster. 

Indeed, marriage can seem risky or even pointless, especially in today’s day and age. Despite this, it is a privilege that humanity can experience such a thing that can bring so much beauty, power and security into our lives. 

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